Yesterday at the gas station......
Drunk Girl: Hey! Do you have an awesome Valentine like I do?
Me: Yes! Mine is pretty awesome!
Her: Did he get you something?
Me: No.
Her: What! He doesn't sound awesome at all!!
Me: Trust me, he is.
Her: Well he better make up for his empty hands!
Me: He has.
Her: Oh really?!? How?
Me: He's taking me on a trip.
Her: Where to? The ocean (Ocean City)?
Me: No. South Africa.
Her: OMG! How did you manage that?
Me: I'm fabulous!
Her: He (points to the guy walking towards us) never takes me anywhere.
Me: Well maybe you aren't fabulous.
Her: Oh I'm fabulous alright!
Me: Oookkaaayyy
Her: (screaming) Honey! Am I fabulous?
Him: Not really, but you are a really good lay.
Her: Stunned.
Me: Hysterically laughing
Her: Extremely pissed
Him: Completely oblivious
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